Day three of riding.
We walked around town in the morning. Saw a dead dog floating in the lake. Pretty standard.
We continued out of town after breakfast into the green tea fields. The area of Than Uyen is mainly populated by Flower H’mong and Dzao people.
The H’mong people wear bright clothing similar to what I saw of the mountain people of Peru. They were recruited by CIA to fight communism and after Vietnam war suffered great persecution and many were brought over to the US in places like Minnesota and California. There is a good book I read called “The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down” about the difficulties of assimilating into westernized medicine.
After seeing the harvesting of tea leaves we stopped at a processing plant
From the high vantage point at the processing plant we saw some dirt paths down below that we wanted to try and tackle
We came across a bamboo bridge. We had no business trying to cross it. Actually I dumped the bike for the first time before I even got on the bridge when I started to climb up a rock and realized it wasn’t going well and got stuck trying to roll it back. I could not stop laughing as I climbed out from under the bike.
As for the bridge. I made it most of the way but my rear tire slipped off at the end and Kim had to help pull it back up before I fell in the river. I tried to make the bridge more passable for joe but that did not help.
Here is the video of Joes short trip across
I will say that Kim made it over without issue.
After we followed a winding road towards the mountain town of Sapa. It is kinda like the Katmandu of Vietnam.
But before we got to Sapa we past within sight of Vietnam’s tallest mountain, Fansipan.
At the top of the highest pass we stopped and bought some drinks and beef jerky.
And joe got a picture with some newlyweds.
Before pulling into Sapa we did a little more offroading. I dropped the bike again in some mud. Joe and I were even at 2 not including the bamboo bridge incident. We were keeping score for who buys the beers.
I stalled the bike at the top of this rocky downhill section. There was an old man with a cane right there, Joe was behind me and Kim was at the bottom. Everyone was telling me what to do and even the old man was giving my bike a Yoda-like poke with his cane to move me along. I told them all to shut up (the old man ignored my request) so I could focus. I was trying to plan out my braking and clutch attack. Needless to say it all went out the window when I started and I gunned it and almost wrecked myself. I told joe that when that happens I just start pulling every lever and knob like a mad scientist hoping I survive.
It wasn’t till 2 days later that I realized that I didn’t really need to do all that on the downhill. Throttle was not necessary as gravity would carry me forward and I just needed to worry about braking while holding the clutch. But I am a big dumb animal.
We pulled into Sapa in the pouring rain. It was the usual chaos on the road, but it was a little tougher because all the streets were on a 10% grade. Just what I needed
After lunch we checked in as opposed to hitting a local Hmong village due to rain. The lodging was the best of the trip. It sat on this precipice and surrounded by clouds.
We had time before dinner so we walked a bit. Every other store was selling Northface gear. It was all 70% cheaper than back in US. We were not sure if it was real, but determined later that most of it was indeed Northface gear but sold for local markets, not up to code for USA.
How did I find this out you ask. Well I did not bring many clothes on this trip and they were all stinking and dirty. I decided to stop at a store and get some new convertible pants. So I reach for Large pants and they were sized for a 10 yo boy. The manager looked at me and brought a pair of XXXL to try on. There are no changing rooms in these places and I did not have underwear on. I tried to have Joe run interference as I took of my pants and tried these on but I did not see the female stock girl behind me until after I bent over. It was a comical exchange made more so because we had a few bourbons in us by this point. I told him the pants were fine and I wanted him to leave me alone so I could put my pants back on, but he was just standing right in front of me. At this point I was gunna buy it so oh well, just dropped pants there and gave the manager a free show.
Whiskeys at local pub
This place was pretty westernized. After getting sick of the incessant honking of horns we decided to try a massage parlor.
A brief sidebar about the horns and drivers. I have already established there are no traffic laws. If the light is red but you see a window than many just go for it. I really did not see many cops around. Joe and I got International DL but any local cops had more things to deal with then us. Also when you are driving on a main road and a side road Ts into you; usually the person on that side road stops when they get to intersection and waits for an opening to turn right or left. In Vietnam, they just merge turning right into your lane and it is up to you to let them in. If they are turning left they just merge into your lane (oncoming traffic) and eventually work their way to the other lane. This is not a huge deal when it is a scooter but a semi is another issue. Next issue: when you are on these 2 lane roads and oncoming traffic decides to pass someone and cross into your lane, it is customary that they go back into their lane to avoid you. Not in Vietnam. In Vietnam they come at you head on and start laying on the horn until you get to the side of the road. Joe got real frustrated at first, shaking his fist and giving the middle finger, but once you realize there is no rationale then there is no point in getting frustrated. Many times I was behind him and just saw him shake and drop his head in defeat. You also have to deal with people that just park their car, bike, pig in the middle of the road and get off for a conversation. Passing a truck on a windy 2 lane road is not tough for the locals because they don’t care. They just pass on blind corners. Joe was telling me how when he rides with his friends they bunch up and when one passes a truck they all pass. Well I watched the moves Kim, our guide was making and I was not willing to hand over my livelihood to his decision-making process. I am getting worked up just thinking about it! One time was hilarious. Kim was ahead of us and we were trying to pass this truck in a level-headed manner when all of a sudden a guy with 20 chickens on his scooter got in front of Joe and made the pass we were too scared to make. I guess it was just the circumstances and the fact that I was so punch-drunk at this point, but it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Finally, the honking, the fucking honking!, People honk all day every day. They honk to warn you, they honk to say hello, they honk for no reason. I got off on this tangent because when we were walking in Sapa the honking was driving me crazy like the sounds of a casino floor. I digress.
Where were we? Ahh yes the massage parlor. I have never gotten a massage. I just don’t like people touching me. Joe said it was good and only $10 so I said yes. We walked in and they take us to the backroom and pull back curtain and Kim is lying there naked! Pretty funny. We lay down and Joe has a guy massaging him. That did not last long as he traded for a girl. These girls were jumping on our backs and doing a bunch of weird shit. It was ok. I was gunna make some jokes but I wanted to know who spoke English. I said “count off if you speak English” Response,”one, two, three……four” Who was that? Turns out there was some other girl in the corner getting a massage. Like I said, the fact that we were all drinking made this immeasurably more funny.
After dinner Kim met up with a friend and Joe and I got one more drink and then crashed due to the obnoxiousness of the westerners and the peddling of goods that it brought from the locals.
We probably should have hit it a little harder but we are old now
This is the dog that tried to bite me
Until Tomorrow
Darren
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